No Questions

The more I read atheist and free-thinking blogs and literature, the more I am amazed at how unquestioning I was about certain things.  I was just reading at The Atheist Yogi about her feelings when reading Chronicles of Narnia and how it was written to parallel Christianity.  The interesting thing is, I read the entire series just a few years ago (and I’m in my late 30’s) and even then, I never really saw that.  Maybe I just wasn’t looking for it, I saw it as an entertaining read, another fun piece of fiction.

At first, this realization that there are a lot of things I never questioned or looked at from a religious perspective made me feel as though I had been a fool in the past.  The more I think about it, the more I think that I just never questioned religion all that much.  When I “believed” (it’s in quotes because I don’t think I ever really did), I had the belief that all religions led to the same god, it’s just that they called him different names.  I don’t think it is much of a leap to move from that to wondering or questioning if religion is “real” at all.    I think I didn’t have interest in it at a very young age.  What I remember most about church is liking the music, especially at the guitar mass at Christmastime.  And it wasn’t the beliefs that I questioned, but the practices.  Like, why can’t I wear shorts to church? (Never did get a reasonable answer to that one).  Why can’t I get communion? (when I was a small child).  Why do I have to go to church at all if God is everywhere? (that was the first step to not going at all).

Interestingly, I never really questioned the tenets of faith and religion themselves.  Not until I had shed all belief did I see how easy it is for children to just accept and do what their parents do.  I have always questioned why 13 seems to be the magic age where you are considered an “adult” in religion (Bar Mitzvah’s & Confirmation), yet you are not allowed to really make that decision as an adult.  Even as a young teenager, I really didn’t want to be confirmed, but went along because it was expected.  And all my friends were getting confirmed as well.  Looking back, what 13 year old has the experience and the knowledge necessary to really make an informed decision about something that is supposed to be HUGE in the Catholic church?  Even though I didn’t want to be confirmed, I would have been hard pressed to actually give you an answer as to why.  Except that maybe I felt I wasn’t ready to make that decision for myself.

I read with fascination how others questioned the impossibility of the ark and the flood.  It never occured to me to ask.  It was just a story to me.  Or the fact that Adam and Eve had two sons.  Where did everyone else come from?  Was never on my radar.  My DNA does not carry the faith gene, yet I tend to be naive and trusting to a fault (I do think that people are basically good – most of them anyway).  Is it possible to be a skeptic but not a cynic? I tend to have a positive attitude, and was told recently that I have a certain “lightness of being” that is refreshing to be around.  I know cynics.  I love one.  He claims not to be a pessimist, but a realist.  It’s all fine and good, but it can occasionally drag me down.  Cynicism in some instances is good, and I try to teach my children some skepticism, especially where advertising is concerned (“Don’t believe a word they tell you!  Find out for yourself!”).

Did your questioning arise later in life, after you spent some time in adulthood, or were you one of those kids who asked “Why?” incessantly until you got an answer you could be satisfied with?  Nowadays, I tend to ask “Why?” more often, as well as “What exactly are they trying to say to me/sell to me/get me to believe?”.  Yet I still feel as though I come off as flaky when I change my opinion on something.  But isn’t that what we all do?  Accept that something is the truth until some evidence comes around that proves otherwise?  And aren’t we all free to change our opinion?

Muslims to Hold Large Prayer Rally, Christians (not surprisingly) in an Uproar

Found at CharismaNewsOnline:

A New Jersey mosque is spearheading a national prayer rally in Washington, D.C., that organizers expect to attract tens of thousands of Muslims to pray for the soul of America.

Describing the event as the first-ever of its kind, leaders of Dar-ul-Islam in Elizabeth, N.J., expect 50,000 Muslims  from around the world to gather for the Sept. 25 rally being held on Capitol Hill.

Hassen Abdellah, president of Dar-ul-Islam, said the event, which begins at 1 p.m., will not include political speeches but will focus only on prayer.

You’d think the fact that we have a commie socialist godless president that the Christians would find this an opportune time to unite themselves with the Muslims for a common goal.

Yeah, right.  The response of the Christian conservatives was predictable.

Some Christians also are mobilizing to pray on that day. An e-mail circulating virally calls for Christians to oppose what they see as Islam’s growing influence on the U.S. through prayer.

Not that it’s surprising given where this article originated, but the comments are the typical fearmongering and arrogance you’d come to expect.  There is definitely a tone of Christianity being the one true religion, and even though it was stressed in the article that this is a peaceful protest:

Abdellah said he doesn’t understand why Christians would object to Muslims praying. “What is there to fear about that?” he said. “Nobody’s praying for any destruction? We’re praying for reconciliation and that people get along.”

the commenters are so full of Christ’s love that they are prepared for a holy war.  And people wonder why so many of us feel that religion isn’t just silly, but dangerous.

City Council Invocation Currently Being Debated

From Channel 23 (ABC) in California:

It starts well, but goes downhill, as usual:

For the last few months, the Tehachapi City Council meeting has started off with an invocation prayer, but a letter sent last week from the Freedom From Religion Foundation has Tehachapi residents debating the constitutionality of saying the prayer.

Tuesday night’s council meeting started with the standard Pledge of Allegiance, but unlike meetings over the last six months, no prayer.

There’s still that pesky “under God” in the pledge.

While the council discussed the letter in closed session, the public spoke out in favor of the prayers during public comment.Only one person spoke out against the prayer, but said it would be OK if the prayer was more inclusive.

I think that person probably has their heart in the right place, but as long as there is prayer at all, it will continue to be exclusive to anyone who does not believe in god.

“They’re making schools not give scholarships to other religious colleges,” Councilman Shane Reed said during the meeting. “So, this is the type of group we’re dealing with and I encourage everyone to look at their site and see what we’re dealing with.”

I’m not entirely sure what they are referring to, probably because I think they got their facts wrong.  They are not denying scholarships, they are concerned about the use of taxpayer money in violation of the Establishment Clause.  And they are fighting against “… the Bush Administration’s claim that it can use taxpayer money to support religion without complaint by taxpayers”. I’m guessing they skimmed the information and picked up information on a case that was stated as a precedent for the current lawsuit Hein v. FFRF.  In that case:

Flast v. Cohen (1968) permitted a taxpayer challenge of federal assistance to religious schools. The court ruled that challenges could be heard that question the use of “the taxing and spending power . . . to favor one religion over another or to support religion in general.”

And the typical response already in the comments:

How can this happen? “In God We Trust” is on all our money, but we can’t pray? This world is getting worse. What’s next, “Freedom of Speech?” I’m sadden by the Country that I love is trying to push out the God that loves us and was there when we won our FREEDOM. IN GOD I DO TRUST~! My freedom I’m worried about..

Oh you can pray, on your own time. You may not take time in a government venue to basically hold people hostage and proclaim your faith that they may not share.  It’s called separation of church and state and it’s one of the tenets our country was founded on.  I almost commented there, but at the last moment I saw the sign that said “Don’t feed the trolls”.

Abortion Pill Hasn’t Helped Abortion Access

I’m sure the anti-choice folks are rejoicing over this one.

From ForWomenOnline:

RU-486, also called mifepristone, was approved by the FDA in 2000 for early pregnancy termination, it was expected to improve access to early abortion because pregnancies could be terminated more privately, within a few days after conception, without surgery, and with only a prescription for the medication from a woman’s personal physician, no matter where the woman lived.

In 2005, out of a total of 3,141 counties in the U.S., RU-486 prescriptions were written in only 307 (10 percent). Of the 62 million girls and women of childbearing age, an estimated 36 million (58 percent) lived in a county with an RU-486 provider.

These results, the researchers conclude, indicate that RU-486 “has not brought a major improvement in the geographic availability of abortion.I like the idea of having the whole process be more private, but it’s disappointing that to those people who choose to terminate a pregnancy are still finding that it’s a major hardship to do so.  Health care for everyone, for everything, should be accessable.  I also wonder if part of the low numbers of RU-486 use have to do with pharmacists refusing to fill prescriptions.  If the government says it’s OK for a pharmacist to deny someone the opportunity to prevent pregnancy because of their personal beliefs, you can damn well be sure they aren’t filling a script for mifepristone.  Irony is, if birth control was more affordable and more attainable, abortion would be less needed, which is something I think we all would be happy to see.

In the sake of honesty, I have never had an abortion, and not sure I would if I had to choose, but I firmly believe that the choice needs to remain.

Slowly Outing Myself

It never really occurred to me when I started having doubts that there is a sort of process I am going through towards being fully “out” as an atheist.  Other than my spouse, only one other family member I think really knows where I stand on the whole belief thing.  That in and of itself is a bit of a relief.  As for my parents, I think my mom knows but we don’t discuss it, and I don’t know about my dad.

What I’ve found to be one of the toughest areas is on places like Facebook.  Part of the difficulty is that I went to a catholic high school.  This has resulted in my fellow alumni running the gamut from tree-hugging godless liberals to conservative christian right wing tools (at least in my opinion).  In my info, I played it safe and put in ‘Humanist’ in the religion area.  It’s heartening to see that the people who I feel are the most sane are the ones who tend to be the least religious, and a lot of my former classmates will take on and challenge those who seem to argue from religion first, and facts second.  Over time, I’m slowly letting my feelings be known.  I became a fan of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Bill Maher, & Richard Dawkins.  We have a 20 year reunion coming up and I’d like to be confident in who I am and who I believe, should conversation steer that direction at all.

The whole process is helping me approach a point in the future where I can answer personal questions about church, god, and faith with an unequivocal answer.  Currently, I tend to waffle a bit due to fear of how my answer will be received.  One of the best interactions I’ve had recently is with one of my cousins.  I am her teenaged son’s godmother.  Her young daughter asked me if I believe in god and I told her I’m not sure.  My cousin asked if I was uncomfortable or offended that I had been asked to be a godparent.  I was pleasantly surprised that it really wound up being a non-issue, and she was more concerned about how I felt than the fact that her son has a godmother that most likely doesn’t believe in a god.

I’m hoping to be a little more active on the blog, as well as commenting on other godless blogs.  I have yet to pop my Pharyngula commenting cherry, but it’s my self-preservation instinct kicking in.  It feels a bit like diving into a shark tank wearing nothing but a shark-bait bikini.

“In God We Trust” License Plates advances to Illinois House

Found at Pantagraph

Apparently more than 850 people in Illinois want “In God We Trust” on their license plate.  It is a specialty license plate that requires an extra charge to purchase if you so desire one.  Purchase of it is “…to raise revenue for families of Illinois National Guard members and reservists facing financial hardships”.  Which is wonderful.  Obtaining this specialty license plate is entirely voluntary.

Do you think we could get enough people that would want to buy a plate with a secular or even better, atheist message on it?

The secretary of state’s office only prints specialty plates when more than 850 registered motorists are willing to pay for them, spokesman Henry Haupt said.

If we could pull it off, do we have a choice as to where our money goes?  If so, what organization would you choose to receive the revenue?

I’m Sensing a Disconnect

Maybe its the fact that I lean pretty damn far to the left on the political spectrum, but I don’t understand how people can actually want President Obama to fail.  It has been widely reported that Rush Limbaugh has said as such, and repeatedly.  There is even a group on Facebook that is called a conservative protest that in their mission, state that they are looking for Obama to fail.

If Obama fails, we have failed as a nation.  If Obama fails, it is in no small part due to the carnage left behind by President Bush.  If Obama fails, the economy, which is teetering on a precipice, could fall even further, causing nationwide business and personal catastrophe and tragedy.

If Obama fails, everybody fails.  And people, what is so damn scary about Obama succeeding?  Why I can imagine the horrors now, people actually can find a job at a living wage, going to the doctor doesn’t require deliberation because everybody has health insurance, we will no longer have troops deployed and dying in a war that was started based on lies.

I may not be a political scholar or an economist, but I do live in the United States.  I am a middle class mother that wants better for my kids than what we are struggling with now.  I no longer want an era of negativity, where it seems every week there was another crisis or fuck up.  I want my kids to learn compassion for others, and not being afraid of change, because things do change, for better or worse.  Am I fearful of change?  Of course, it’s always difficult to deal with a difference in the status quo and not knowing what the outcome will be, but there comes a point in time where the status quo is not only uncomfortable, but it is unhealthy to stay there.  Such is life.

A society is often judged on how they treat the “least” of their people, the minorities, the homeless, the destitute, the ill.  How will we be judged, and furthermore, how would we like to be judged?  We have a lot of freedoms in this country, freedom of choice, freedom of religion.  For the first time in 8 years we have a president who is not looking to narrow these freedoms but expand them.

In regards to the latest stimulus plan, yes I understand that it is a staggering amount of governmental spending.  But Obama didn’t create this recession, he inherited it.  At this point, it’s either spend or let the banks fail, which I don’t think anybody wants.  Is there another viable solution?

Ours is one of those families who thought that a tough economy would not impact us much, if at all.  We were wrong.  We have a 15 year old car that needs a $700 repair and after a week, we still haven’t decided what to do, we certainly cannot afford to buy a new or used car.  Thank goodness we can car pool.  The value of our house has dropped.  We have two young children, and just to buy the staples results in bigger and bigger grocery bills.  Every purchase I make is made deliberately and without impulse.  Yes we are fortunate to still be able to afford luxuries such as cable and internet, yet should my husband lose his job, we will pull the plug.

Things can not proceed as they have, things must change.

Accidentally On-Purpose

My brother and his family are visiting for the holidays.  They are polar opposites than my husband and me.  We recently got a card signed “God Bless”, which was understated for them.  Last year we got cards that illustrated the extent of the indoctrination their kids have received.  Not many people in my family know the full extent of my heathenism.  My husband knows of course.  My mom is pretty clued in while my dad is pretty clueless.  One of my aunts gets it I think.  Other than that, it’s a big unknown.  My family is not known for deep conversations.  Not surprisingly, there seems to be a correlation between those I’ve had in-depth discussions with and how accepting I perceive them to be.

Every year, my husband and I suffer some mild to moderate irritation at the not-so-subtle holier than thou attitude from a certain someone.  Now, I can talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, I tend to bite my tongue to avoid any ugliness, I lean strongly towards diplomacy.

Year to year, I seem to be gaining more self-confidence.  With this wonderful gain comes a tendency to speak my mind more and more.  I worry that the next time something asinine and self-righteous comes out of this person’s mouth that I’m going to dump a big stinking atheistic turd on the dinner table, you know, sort of accidentally on-purpose.  But that would only gratify my immediate need to not hear total stupidity and would hurt more others in the long run.  So I’ll probably keep my mouth shut, or stuff it full of food.  If I gain 5 pounds over the holiday, I’ll know why.

It does bother me a bit that I can’t be “out” about my atheism.  I wish I had the courage to, but I don’t.

The Amazing Subconscious

I had the weirdest dream last night.  I felt the need to share it because of the strange juxtaposition of symbolism in it.  Analyzing it could prove to be an entertaining distraction.

So here goes:

My parents & I are walking from the car to go into the church we went to while I was growing up.  Spilling into the parking lot is a gay pride parade/protest.  We enter church, which is quite crowded and try to find a seat.  The only seats available are in a pew that has a small hole in the floor beneath it.  In this hole I can see the glow of hot magma.  Being the one sitting nearly on top of this hole makes me supremely uncomfortable, even though there are other holes that people are sitting by, seemingly unbothered.  The priest starts talking/preaching about the homosexual agenda or something similarly close-minded and hateful.  My anxiety is such that I tell my parents I have to leave and they get up and we exit the church.  We are halfway through the parking lot when there is a great trembling coming from the church.  The bells are tolling randomly and it starts shaking so much it is separating from the foundation, yet nobody else is seen running out.  Suddenly the church tips onto it’s side and there is a lake of fire and lava underneath it threatening to swallow it whole.  I’m horrified at the number of people who are probably burning to death right that moment, but I know that it is too late for me to do anything to help.  Suddenly the lava churns and starts overflowing the foundation, carrying the church with it.  It is heading our direction fast…too fast.  Just as it is about to overtake us….

I wake up, heart racing and hyperventilating.  There was also the brief thought that any survivors would thank god for protecting them, but not question why he allowed the devastation in the first place.

I have not had such a vivid and strange dream in years.  It was very unsettling, and in the middle of the night, it was hard to shake the feeling that there was something important in all of that that I couldn’t quite grasp.

One Down, One to Go

My oldest daughter no longer believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.

You might ask why we introduced the concepts at all, and that’s a fair question.  Mostly because I grew up with them and I like to think that the only time in life that fantasy and magic is allowed in such a big way is in childhood.  Just by the very nature of growing up and life experience, the magic fades from such childhood experiences.  I kind of knew for the last year or so that she was going along with it for my younger daughter’s sake, and she admitted as much.  She wasn’t disappointed at all, and it didn’t make her the pariah for being the one in her school to burst the bubble of all the other kids.

I know I’m bowing to societal norms, but I also think that it can serve as a jumping off point for future discussions of what people believe and why they believe.  And also to look at something and try to see what is really the truth.  Just because I don’t believe in god (and my husband is a doubter as well, but more hedging his bets), doesn’t mean I want to do away with Christmas.  There is something about the lights and the music that time of year, that if done right can be downright magical and full of wonder.

When my daughter informed me (out of earshot of her sister) that she knows that Santa isn’t real, I tossed in god when asking about the tooth fairy and whether she believes they are real.  Tooth fairy – no.  God?  She said “I don’t know”.  And that was good enough for me at the time.  She was reading and I didn’t want to distract her, but I did want to get the topic out there, even a little bit, so if or when a bigger discussion about it comes up, I can encourage her to try to figure it out for herself.  I’m sure that the question will come up eventually, since a good number of her friends go to church (or temple), but a surprising number don’t attend church at all on a regular basis.

Which reminds me that a while ago, my mom found my brother’s old Dungeons & Dragons starter kit and my oldest daughter glommed onto it.  She has a friend that she plays with and another girl played with them for a little while until she mentioned it to her uncle, who informed her that it has demons in it.  This girl was also homeschooled for a while and now goes to a private school.  This is in a relatively affluent neighborhood with top-notch schools.

My daughter explained to her that there are no demons, just dragons and adventure, but the damage was done.  Now my daughter doesn’t play because they need at least one more person to play and the other girls at her school are so not interested.  Who knew that 5th grade girls were so….girly.  She will probably have to find a boy to round out their group.

I am so proud that she finds D&D interesting and didn’t just dismiss it as a “boy thing”.  Unfortunately, her tendency to do that does not make her social life any easier.  She has seemed to get a reputation among the more girly of the girls as being a bit of an odd duck.  She dresses more tomboyish and other than her pierced ears, isn’t very girly at all.  Which is just fine with me.  Along with a lack of religious indoctrination, I did my best to avoid any kind of gender indoctrination as well.  If she wants a toy that is in the “boy” section, I don’t discourage it.  Her sister, on the other hand, without any help from me, is all about the dolls.  OMG, the baby dolls.  They outnumber us 5 to 1.

This year, I can have someone help me wrap the gifts from Santa for my youngest daughter (and even pick them out).  And it’s not as hard to keep the secret from one when I have one of them in on it.  It’s a bit of a relief actually.  One of the things I didn’t consider when starting the whole Santa thing was how long it was going to last.  Who knew that it would be nearly 10 years before I could spill the beans?