My brother and his family are visiting for the holidays. They are polar opposites than my husband and me. We recently got a card signed “God Bless”, which was understated for them. Last year we got cards that illustrated the extent of the indoctrination their kids have received. Not many people in my family know the full extent of my heathenism. My husband knows of course. My mom is pretty clued in while my dad is pretty clueless. One of my aunts gets it I think. Other than that, it’s a big unknown. My family is not known for deep conversations. Not surprisingly, there seems to be a correlation between those I’ve had in-depth discussions with and how accepting I perceive them to be.
Every year, my husband and I suffer some mild to moderate irritation at the not-so-subtle holier than thou attitude from a certain someone. Now, I can talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, I tend to bite my tongue to avoid any ugliness, I lean strongly towards diplomacy.
Year to year, I seem to be gaining more self-confidence. With this wonderful gain comes a tendency to speak my mind more and more. I worry that the next time something asinine and self-righteous comes out of this person’s mouth that I’m going to dump a big stinking atheistic turd on the dinner table, you know, sort of accidentally on-purpose. But that would only gratify my immediate need to not hear total stupidity and would hurt more others in the long run. So I’ll probably keep my mouth shut, or stuff it full of food. If I gain 5 pounds over the holiday, I’ll know why.
It does bother me a bit that I can’t be “out” about my atheism. I wish I had the courage to, but I don’t.